This Morning: Dawn French speaks about her new book and her father’s d3ath

Dawn French has opened up on processing her grief and the “blame” she felt after her father’s suicide.

The 68-year-old comedian has been speaking about the impact her father’s d3ath had on her when she was just 19 years old in recent interviews, ahead of her latest book, Enough, where she talks about aging, suicide and mortality.

belowDawn’s dad d!ed in 1977 at the age of 45, with the Vicar of Dibley star speaking about his d3ath during an appearance on This Morning on Thursday, May 21.

She told hosts Ben Shephard and Cat Deeley, about her new book: “I set out to write a life-affirming book if I could about a difficult subject, and so my character, Etta, she’s 68 years old and takes her family down to the beach, near their home, and sits them on the beach at sunrise and explains to them that she won’t be there at sunset, that she’s had enough, which is the title of the book.

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The comedian spoke about her new book, which explores themes of mortality (Image: Dave Benett/Getty Images)

“But by ‘enough’, she doesn’t mean enough of life, she means, ‘I’ve had a really good life, I’ve had enough of everything, and so this is my time to go because I don’t want to give you, my kids, the burden of what it’ll be like as I’m older,’ so she thinks of taking her life by the end of that day.”

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She went on to explain how the rest of her book is her family’s argument to dissuade her, but Dawn set out to make the story something joyful.

Speaking of her own experience, she continued: “I need to make it clear that what happened with my dad who took his own life sadly when I was 19, my dad had terrible depressive interludes in his life, very different to this woman, who is well, mentally well and physically well, which is why it’s so shocking.

“Because of what happened to my dad, I’ve had a lifetime of processing what happened. When I was 19 I was furious, angry and confused and full of grief, and as I’ve grown older, I’ve tried to understand mentally ill health, which I do understand, then you forgive.

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Dawn appeared on Thursday’s This Morning (Image: ITV)

“And also, I’ve really thought, this subject is something we need to talk about and not put all the shame and all that taboo stuff. Back in the day, this was illegal and sinful… I’m the living proof that you can get through something like this and you need to talk about it to understand it.”

She went on to talk about “blame” being “everywhere around this subject”, and the questions people ask themselves, saying: “Blame is everywhere around this subject, it’s like, ‘What if, why didn’t I see, what could we have done?’ and my mum lived with a certain amount of that as well.

“But that’s why the more we talk about it, and everyone’s experience and reason is different, my dad was an incredibly engaged dad, a cheerful man, but he had these black dogs, and when they came, he would take to his bed and it was deep and dark, but as kids, we didn’t know that.”

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Dawn spoke to hosts Ben Shephard and Cat Deeley (Image: ITV)

This comes after Dawn addressed how the topic of suicide had occasionally been something she thought about.

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“I’ve faced a lot of my thoughts and fears about it,” she told The Times. Reflecting on her father’s d3ath, she continued: “Suicide lives in my brain in a way it might not for somebody who hasn’t experienced it so closely.

“And as I’ve got older, I want to talk about the big things. I set out to write something I’m a bit afraid to admit; that getting older is difficult, end of life is difficult, suicide is difficult.”

Acknowledging that thoughts of suicide had occasionally crossed her mind as she aged, she added: “I don’t think I would ever make this choice,” while admitting she can understand why some people do.