Strictly’s Robin Windsor said he lived ‘permanently in a dark place’ after being axed from BBC show in suicide note

An inquest in to the death of the Strictly star has opened in which it has been revealed the impact being cut from the show had on him

View 4 Images

Robin Windsor died aged 44(Image: PA Wire/PA Images)

Robin Windsor said he felt a “constant sadness” after being dropped from Strictly Come Dancing. An inquest into the death of the dancer has been opened, two years after he died.

Windsor left a suicide note when he died, aged 44, in 2024, the inquest heard. The star was found dead in his hotel bed by a receptionist with police and medics then attending the Hoxton in West London.

PC Emily Hampson discovered two notes near him. One of which was addressed to his ex, Ollie Augustin, and said his suicide was not Augustin’s fault.

View 4 Images

Lisa Riley was partnered with Windsor on the show and stayed friends after their time dancing together (Image: (Image: GETTY))

The other detailed how being axed from Strictly in 2015 left him in “a dark place”. He wrote: “This all really started when I lost my job on Strictly and have been fighting it ever since.

“The way they treated me destroyed me…It started me on the road I’m still on. All I wanted from life was to be happy. I loved my job more than anyone else.”

He added that the “heartache, the loneliness, the constant sadness” all got to be “too much”. “I just live permanently in a dark place,” Windsor said. “I just can’t live like this anymore. It’s just too painful.

“I had a good run, I’ve done some incredible things in my 44 years and had an unreal life doing what I loved, but all things must come to an end, and my curtain has come down for the final time.”

View 4 Images

Windsor was cut from Strictly following a back injury (Image: BBC/Ray Burmiston)

Windsor was partnered with big names Patsy Kensit, Anita Dobson, Lisa Riley and Deborah Meaden between 2010 and 2013, but suffered a back injury that meant he needed surgery.

Due to his injury he was unable to partake in the 2014 series and the following year bosses decided not to bring him back. His friend and former colleague, Kristina Rihanoff, told the hearing that the “psychological impact” of leaving Strictly was “very severe” as he “couldn’t do what he loved” due to his back pain. She added that is was “heartbreaking” to see him so “sad, subdued and burdened”.

The inquest heard that a post-mortem ruled Windsor’s death was likely an overdose on drugs and alcohol. Former Strictly executive producer Louise Rainbow said Windsor was one of three stars dropped ahead of the 2015 series and that though he was “very disappointed” when he was told, his reaction “wasn’t that different” to the other dancers and did not cause her concern.

She added that Windsor was offered work on the Christmas special and the spin-off, It Takes Two, both of which he accepted. She described him as a “joy to work with”.

View 4 Images

Strictly’s Robin Windsor’s X Factor boyfriend Marcus Collins also testified (Image: Instagram)

Marcus Collins, Windsor’s ex-boyfriend, also testified. His witness statement read out by the assistant coroner said Windsor was inconsolable after being cut. He said: “The day he was informed he was no longer required really broke his spirit.”

His aunt, Alison Windsor, said he was “absolutely devastated”. She said on at the hearing: “He lived for dancing, breathed it, slept it. That was his vocation in life.

“Being called for Strictly is every professional dancer’s dream. I think things started with his back problems, when he was told he wasn’t required again. I do honestly 100 per cent believe that was the start of Robin’s decline.”

In another written statement, Windsor’s former dance partner Deborah Meaden said the last time she’d heard from him was a year prior his death. “We talked about his mental health problems, but he had come through the bad times and had plans for the future.”

The court also heard that Windsor has said to his ex Augustin that he “would kill himself”. He said that Windsor was on suicide watch over Christmas 2023 and that “he’d say things like he would kill himself if he couldn’t be with me”. However, as mentioned one of the notes insisted that this was not the reason Windsor committed suicide.