‘My brain cannot compute that she’s gone’

Actor Richard E Grant got emotional as he opened up about the d3ath of his wife, Joan Washington.

The 68-year-old legend, who has starred in countless movies, from Spice World and Star Wars to Salt Burn, lost his wife Joan, a dialect coach, eight months after she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in September 2021.

The pair got married in 1986 and enjoyed a 38-year marriage. They share a daughter, actress Olivia Grant, 42.

Richard E Grant opens up about losing his wife

During an appearance on singer Paloma Faith’s Mad Sad Bad podcast yesterday (January 27), Richard revealed it had been four years since Joan died.

He admitted that he understands “rationally” that he will “never see, touch, talk to her ever again”.

He continued: “But, emotionally, my brain cannot compute that she’s gone, so it sort of reconfigured and I just instinctively started writing to her, every night, that is the hardest bit to get used to.

“The trick of memory is so extraordinary, in that, a year ago, I only remembered her in full health, rather than in poor health for the last eight months of her life. So, if I suddenly find a picture of her on my phone of when she was ill, it’s a real shock, because my memory has sort of reconfigured, which I suppose is what you do, your survival instinct to only remember the good bits.”

On a more positive note, Richard recognised that “only eight months of those 38 years were in diminishing health”.

‘I cry every single day’

Elsewhere during the conversation, Richard admitted he cries often.

“I cry every single day: from grief, from joy, from the news,” he said.

However, as he continues to grieve and deal with loss, he said it’s not something you can ever “get over”. That said, he also admitted, “I’ve not wanted to get over” his wife.

“Because then it’s almost like you’re saying, well, that person’s life, that’s finished and done with,” Richard added.