It was supposed to be another routine night on Fox News’ “The Five,” but instead, viewers witnessed a spectacular verbal demolition of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz—a moment so savage, so unvarnished, that even the studio audience was left gasping. What began as a discussion about politics and bullying quickly spiraled into a no-holds-barred roast, with Walz painted as everything from a “clown without a circus” to, in the words of Tyrus, “a creepy guy who can’t remember his own speeches.”
Let’s break down how Tim Walz went from keynote speaker to punchline in less than five minutes.
The Speech That Sparked a Firestorm
It all started with Walz’s keynote speech at a conference—a speech that, if you believe the Fox News panel, was more painful than a root canal without anesthesia. Greg Gutfeld set the tone, rolling his eyes and declaring, “Tim Walz vomits more nonsense,” before tossing to a clip of Walz calling Donald Trump a “wannabe dictator” and urging Democrats to “be a little bit more fierce.”
Cue the eye rolls. Cue the laughter.
The Panel Erupts: “He’s a Clown Without a Circus”
As soon as the clip ended, the panel pounced. Jamie couldn’t hold back:
Jamie (deadpan): “What a douchebag. That was absolutely painful. Can you imagine having to watch more of that [bleep]? Having Tim Walz as your keynote speaker is like…going to a mall and at the end there’s a Kohl’s.”
The studio erupted in laughter, but the knives were just getting sharpened.
Tyrus Unleashed: “A Creepy Guy Who Can’t Remember His Speeches”
Enter Tyrus, never one to sugarcoat:
Tyrus (mocking): “First of all, whose bowls is he hiding in his cheeks? I love the way he says ‘fierce.’ We have got to be fiercer. We have to go up to President Trump and spank him. Wrestle him to the ground.”
But then, the real blow:
Tyrus: “He’s not a teacher, he’s not a politician, he’s a creepy guy who can’t remember his speeches.”
The panel lost it. Even Greg, usually the master of the last word, was left shaking his head.
The Contradiction: “Don’t Bully, Let’s Bully Trump”
The hypocrisy wasn’t lost on anyone. As Jamie pointed out, Walz spent half his speech decrying bullying, then immediately called for Trump to be “bullied back.”
Jamie: “He kind of goes back and forth. I don’t think bullying is funny. I was bullied quite a bit—you probably could have guessed that. I was bullied almost up until high school. And I was homeschooled.”
The punchline landed. The panel howled.
The Political Fallout: “A Clown Without a Circus”
Greg summed up the mood:
Greg: “It’s the ultimate clown show. He’s a clown without a circus. He’s roaming the terrain—‘Is there some carnival I can work for? I’ll wash your windows.’”
No one in the room believed Walz had any real influence.
Jamie: “He’s just an inconsequential footnote to vice presidential history. Nobody will remember his name on trivia night.”
The Gender Gap: “Democrats Have a Massive Problem With Men”
But beneath the jokes, there was a real critique:
Tyrus: “Look at the political trends here. Democrats have a massive problem with men. Hispanic men voted for Trump for the first time ever, young men overwhelmingly voted for Trump, and if their answer is to send out Tim Walz…he has as much use as a flammable tea cozy.”
The panel agreed: Walz isn’t fixing the party’s problems—he’s making them worse.
The Final Word: “We Never Would Have Known This Guy Existed”
Greg closed with a devastating truth:
Greg: “Amazing—we probably never would have known this guy existed if he hadn’t been picked. Just think about this—he’s a governor. I never heard of him.”
Conclusion: A Viral Collapse for the Ages
In the end, Tim Walz’s attempt to rally the troops turned into a viral collapse. He was called a “creepy guy,” a “clown,” and an “inconsequential footnote”—all in the space of one segment. The panel’s mockery was relentless, the contradictions in his speech laid bare for all to see.
If Walz hoped to become a household name, he succeeded—but not for the reasons he wanted. In the age of viral media, sometimes it only takes five minutes to become a punchline.
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